"I wish I could lose weight, too!"

As I've progressed through my journey, people who've known me for years are amazed about my transformation. 

Many say they don't even recognize me any more; and, in fact, on several occasions, people I know walked right by me not realizing who I was until I started talking to them. People I've met just this past year are also in awe of what I've accomplished within what they perceive to be a short time.  A trainer at Total Woman, my gym, whom I've never spoken to before approached me recently to tell me how great I've done.  I had no idea she even knew who I was, but she said she remembers when I started at the gym over a year ago (I weighed about 261 lbs. then) and she said she's seen my transformation happen in front of her very eyes and that it's been an amazing effort (I weigh about 169 today, which means a 92 lb. loss in just over a year).  Also, people I've just met can't believe what I've done because they look at me today and can't imagine what I must've looked like when my body was 44% larger than it is now.

The one thing I hear time and time again from people, both friends and strangers alike, is:  I wish I could lose weight like you did!  My response every single time is, "You CAN!  If I can do it, anyone can!"  I understand their sentiment because that's what I used to say when I learned someone had lost considerable weight, too.  It just seemed to me that they must have done something so special that it was beyond my grasp and understanding.  Several women have also told me that they're in their 50s and in menopause so, therefore, they would never be able to lose weight again.  At this point they're incredulous when I tell them that my success began in my 50s after more than 30 years of failing in the weight-loss department and that I was in full menopause before I started which renders their argument disputable.

A woman I've known for many years who always had a weight problem has gained a lot more weight in the last few years.  I see this woman about once a month or so and she's witnessed my transformation the last three years.  From her perspective, my success was drastic and happened rapidly.  She told me about 14 months ago that she wanted to do exactly what I was doing.  When I told her about what an influence my trainer, Flaminia ("Fla"), had been, she eagerly asked me for Fla's contact information.  At the time the idea of starting a blog wasn't even a seed in my mind, but I gave this woman a run down of what I was doing, gave her information that might help her, particularly about what foods I eat, and gave her Fla's contact information so she could start training with Fla, too.  Months later when I published my blog, I gave her the site and told her maybe something that had worked for me might help her as well. 

During the past 14 months, I continue to see this woman monthly and every single time she tells me exactly the same thing:  she's waiting for whatever is happening in her life to be over before she starts her weight-loss program.  Needless to say, she's never contacted Fla either.  In the meantime, during these past 14 months, I've lost about 92 lbs.  So while she's waiting for life to stop getting in her way, I've been doing the work while fighting setbacks, injuries, health issues, emotional baggage, and dealing with the universe trying to thwart my journey and have ultimately succeeded.  

The ONLY difference between me and this woman is that I actually put the work in while she's sitting there wishing she could do it.  I've continually tried to encourage her and told her many times to just start slow, a few changes here and there, and to not wait for life to slow down before she does something about the weight because the reality is that life never slows down.  My advice was heard, but ignored.  I often wonder where she'd be today if she had made the slightest effort to change her lifestyle during all these months.   

Nowadays when she tells me how she wishes she could accomplish what I've done, I just smile and thank her for the compliment.  There's no point in wasting my time with someone who's unwilling to help herself.  I've tried, but she doesn't see the situation for what it is.  SHE is the only one who can do the work, no one can do it for her.  Until she's ready to make the changes in her life that she needs to make, she'll continue to gain weight, she'll continue to have health issues (and, in fact, it'll get worse), she'll continue to feel awful about herself, and she'll continue to tell me she wishes she could do what I've done.

Wishing for it to happen won't accomplish anything other than making you realize you've failed yourself.  I understand first hand that if you have to lose considerable weight to reach your goal, it seems like an absolutely impossible feat.  However, I'm proof positive that it CAN be done and although it takes time and effort, it is NOT impossible at all.  That's not to say it'll be easy, but it can certainly be achieved.

The one thing I try to get people to understand is that I've done nothing new, nothing creative, I haven't found the key to losing weight that no one's ever found before.  I've said it many times before that the information is out there, it's always been out there, and the key is to do the research and apply that information to our own journey until we find what works for ourselves.  What works for me may not work for someone else, but it's important to try various paths until each person finds what works for them.  If there is a "key" to succeeding, it's that you HAVE to put the work in.  It won't happen automatically and wishing for it to happen doesn't work.

Anyone who has a food addiction knows that it's not easy in the least.  It is probably one of the most difficult things a person has to change because we're faced with food every day of our lives.  We need it to survive so we're confronted with our addiction daily.  Success only happens when we put the effort in.  Even now as successful as I've been (137 lbs. lost so far), it's a daily struggle for me.  When I started changing my eating habits, it was incredibly difficult to give up the foods I had enjoyed for so long:  pizza, bread, pasta, pastries, cakes, not to mention the convenience of fast foods and processed foods.   

However, with time it's become second nature to me.  Every day I'm cognizant of calories I've consumed on any given meal/snack and I spend the rest of the day bargaining with myself as to what I can and cannot eat so as not to blow my calories for that day.  It's a daily struggle for me that will never stop being a struggle, but putting the effort is the only thing that works for me.  With time, I was able to rewire my brain from thinking, "What's the big deal if I eat another piece of cake?  I'm already fat!" to "Having any cake at all is just not worth it.  Look how much work it's taken for me to get here."  Although I've splurged sometimes by allowing myself to eat something "bad," with time, I've come to realize that I no longer see giving in to my cravings as a treat and, consequently, I find it easier to bypass the cravings because it's just not worth it to give in anymore.  I've come way too far to slip now, I still have a little ways to go, and I want to get there.  These bad foods only provide a momentary joy, but the consequence is too grave to be worth it.

So what I say to people is:  

Stop wishing to improve your life, your health, to reach your goal weight and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!  The ONLY thing that works is to actively work on it day in, day out.  It's hard, it's frustrating, it's horrible, but it CAN be done.  

Stop waiting for life to get better before you start your new lifestyle because the reality is life never stops long enough for us to catch up.  Changing your bad habits and improving your health and your weight NOW can only make life easier in the long run.