You just never know who’s going to see you in the media. A former co-worker who now lives in Washington, D.C.,
contacted me a few days later by posting on her Facebook page that she was
scrolling down her Yahoo home page and saw me featured.
In the
last six years I ended up on the Channel 4 news after being interviewed about two
different issues. Both were completely
unexpected and I was caught off guard on both counts. The first interview had to do with a medical
matter and I was interviewed at my doctor’s office (it’s a long story I won’t
go into here). I prayed no one had seen it. I kept thinking, “It’ll be on the 5 o’clock
news. Everyone’s working or heading home
at that time. No one will see me.” I was sitting at home at 5 p.m. that day but
I didn’t turn on the TV because I had no desire to see myself. Not only did I cringe at the thought of how I
might look on TV, but I figured I probably sounded like a blubbering idiot,
too. I don’t do well when caught off
guard. I need time to mull over my
responses in an attempt to be witty or articulate – and even then, with plenty of time to plan my words, I often manage to blow
it.
The
funniest thing happened though after my first Channel 4 interview. At about 5:15 p.m., all my phones started
ringing at the same time: my work cell
phone, my personal cell phone, and my home landline. I panicked, “OH, MY GOD! People saw me on TV and they're calling to tell me what they thought!” Believe it or not, NONE of the calls were
related to the news report. One was a
wrong number, the work call was about work, and the third call was to remind me
of an upcoming personal appointment. Stuff like that happens to me all the time, it’s
Vilma luck or Vilma timing which is always just right on target. In any case, I was relieved when no one
contacted me that night or mentioned it the next day. I thought I skated by without anyone noticing. I was wrong.
At least three co-workers saw me on TV and then most of the office
learned about it, too. I was
mortified.
Then a
couple of years ago I took Mitzi, my mother’s dog, to the park and ended up on
the Channel 4 news again being interviewed about something that happened to
someone’s dog at the same park the day before.
Even though I had no idea what had transpired, the reporter still wanted
to talk to me on camera. I guess they
were hurting for people to interview on a weekday afternoon. This time though I told everyone I knew and
then ran to my mother’s so we could both watch the news. It wasn’t me I was so eager to see (in fact
it was a cringe-worthy moment once I appeared on the screen), but rather I was
excited to see Mitzi on TV. They showed her running like a flash across the park to get her
beloved ball. She’s an excellent fetcher
and always brings the ball back to me. She
was wonderful on TV, my little star. About
a month later, I went to the doctor’s for my yearly physical and she said,
“Hey, I saw you on TV with your dog! I
told my husband, ‘That’s my patient!’ “ So...you just never know!
In any case, I ended up on Yahoo after all.
It took me a couple of days before I clicked on the link to see what they
had done with my write up and photos. I procrastinated because I was
embarrassed. I had no idea what comments
people would make either. It seems that even if a story online is the
most inspiring and wonderful you have ever heard of in your life, there are
always people who have to post mean, horrible things about the feature. I don’t understand why some
people find it necessary to be mean spirited for no apparent reason. There’s a sense online that your words won’t
hurt because it’s on a screen and the person posting the vile comments doesn’t
get to experience the effect their words have on the recipient. I visualize a steam roller that crushes everything in its path and keeps going without looking back. I don’t know how celebrities handle it
because everything they do is posted, reviewed, judged, discussed, criticized, etc.
Once I
finally got around to clicking on the article, I was surprised to see that
Yahoo posted what I had written pretty much verbatim (except they changed some
of my punctuation which was correct when I submitted it). I think they deleted a couple of paragraphs,
but mostly it was what I sent them. They
had asked for as many “before” and “after” photos I could send, and I figured
they’d use one or two, but they actually used several photos. The only clarification needed is that the photo of me and Tunde, my current trainer, appears within the paragraph where I talk about Flaminia ("Fla"), my first trainer who changed my life. Sadly, Fla's photo did not appear on the Yahoo article.
Despite
being embarrassed about putting my failures out there for the internet world (and
I did get a couple of mean spirited responses, as expected), I have to say that I overwhelmingly
received incredible comments from people who were affected by my words. The views to my blog spiked (2,550 in one day
and continue to spike even a month later) and a handful of comments were posted
to my blog, too. Mostly I received
personal emails from people who told me their stories. I was surprised how many people said that
they cried when they read the article because I was speaking their words,
too. I felt bad because I was thinking,
“Gee, I didn’t intend to make people cry!” but I know how they felt because I do
the same when I read someone else’s story that mirrors mine.
One
person accused me of “fat shaming.” I
was flabbergasted. For anyone to accuse
me (ME of all people?) into shaming others for being overweight is absolutely
ludicrous. I lost weight because I didn’t
like living in morbid obesity. I lost
weight for my sanity, emotional well being, and my physical health. It was a personal choice and I did it for myself. It was only after I began to succeed that
others wanted me to share my secret so they could lose weight, too, which
resulted in a blog and the Yahoo article.
If that’s “fat shaming,” so be it. As I've said several times throughout my blog, it has been my experience that no matter how happy you are, how successful you are, there will always be at least one person who'll tell you that what you're doing is wrong or not enough.
Personally, I don’t know ANYONE who likes being overweight, let alone likes living in obesity. I’ve heard really big people
say they’re happy with their size. That
may be true, but I seriously doubt it. I
think it’s just a way to convince themselves that they’re okay. I said the same thing a couple of times, that
I was happy the way I was, but I knew it was a lie. It was more a resignation, a defeat, that I
couldn’t lose weight so I might as well say I’m happy living like that. But I wasn’t happy. I was miserable.
Someone
replied to the “fat shaming” commenter by replying with “Fat people should be shamed.” I disagree wholeheartedly. Shaming someone for having an addiction is
unfair and counter productive. The
addiction is the result of problems/insecurities already present in that person’s
psyche. The addiction (food, alcohol,
whatever that person’s choice) is the way we cope with whatever is going on in
our heads. To shame someone who’s
already got a serious problem is heinous.
Hurting someone’s feelings does nothing but make the addiction
stronger. As I’ve stated before in this
blog, research has shown that pressuring or humiliating someone into losing
weight actually has the opposite effect.
I never needed research to tell me that.
In the
emails/comments I received, some people shared their successes in their
particular weight-loss journeys, some people shared their “failures” when it
came to their weight. One person said
she emailed me because she was too ashamed to post her comment online about her
personal story. I tried to answer all
the emails I received, encouraging those who felt they had failed and
congratulating those who had succeeded. I,
of all people, understand how incredibly difficult it is to deal with an
addiction, particularly when it’s food related.
I truly, truly appreciated reading their stories and receiving their
comments. The idea that someone would
take their precious time to reach out to me was more than appreciated.
More often
than not, people put others down, criticize, make things worse for those who
are struggling with their particular problems or insecurities. I think it’s important to motivate each
other, learn from each other, but more than anything: encourage each other. The
only way we can do that is to put ourselves out there and share our stories
with others who face the same challenges.
My
trainers, Fla and Tunde, both encourage me at every turn. They push me and they’re both there for
me. Fla lives in New York now but she continues to check up on me periodically. Your relationship with your trainer goes way
beyond just a few exercises. These
people really root for their clients no matter who they are. They get involved in their clients’
lives and want to see them succeed. They
succeed when their clients succeed. I
never had that kind of support before, not to that degree. I wish everyone could know what it’s like and
so I try to be supportive to people who reach out to me about their personal
journeys. Although I have no
special training or knowledge in anything having to do with food, fitness,
etc., I can share my personal experience and hope it helps others, particularly to spare people from making the same mistakes I made.
Here’s
the link to the Yahoo article:
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing your victorious battle, Miss Vilma. I decided to get serious about weight loss and it's been challenging but I know I can overcome. Many blessings to you!
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