My last week with Fla…and then Vilma luck hit with a vengeance

This was my trainer's last week in Los Angeles before she moves to New York tomorrow morning.  If you've been reading my blog, you know what Flaminia ("Fla") has meant to me this past year and what an incredible influence she's been to my successful weight-loss journey and the subsequent creation of the new me. 

Meeting her was the turning point in my journey which is no small feat considering I lived in obesity for decades.  I never would have guessed a woman half my age would be such an influence on me.  I often told her, "I wish I had met you 20 years ago!"  Then I had to add, "Of course, you were only 6 years old then!"

Often we reminisced about what a trip our relationship has been.  We both remember very well our first meeting in August 2014 when I was annoyed that "this Fla person" was talking about training sessions and taking measurements and how important a structured training program was and wanted to know my goals, etc.  All I heard was, "Blah!  Blah!  Blah!"  I just wanted her to show me the machines so I could do my own thing.  She was thinking, "I'm wasting my time here, but the gym is making me talk about this stuff to a new client who doesn't care."  I describe our early relationship in more detail under "The omens and the blue-haired tormentor."

On our first meeting, I hired her "to shut her up" and I figured it'd get me to the gym once a week.  I often thought I would never hire her again.  She often thought she'd never see me again.  She even expressed this to another trainer at the gym.  But we were both surprised when I kept hiring her for additional sessions.

Then there was the question Fla asked me every time we met for three months, "So how's the food?"  and I kept getting annoyed, thinking, "What the hell does she care what I eat?!" 

For three months she was just a person who trained me once a week for 30 minutes and I was just a client who kept saying, "I can't" at everything she proposed I do.  And then November 29, 2014, came around and everything changed.  From that point on, she became a very important part of my life, and I developed a connection with her I've never had with another person.  When Fla announced she'd be moving to New York, all my friends gave me their condolences as if I had experienced the death of someone in my life or one of my beloved critters.  They knew what Fla meant to my life, too.  Many asked, "What are you going to do NOW? " as if all was lost now that Fla was leaving.

So here we are, about 17 months after we met, I've lost a ton of weight thanks to her, and I'm working out regularly after decades of being sedentary, including voluntarily going to spin classes several times a week!  A lot of my confidence has returned, too, and I no longer have to worry about such silly things as finding clothes when I go shopping or fitting places like restaurant booths or small spaces.  I still need to go on an airplane to see just how I fit in those tiny seats though.  I told Fla that if I don't fit now, I'll never fly again for the sheer principle of the thing!  Then there's this blog I started to describe my journey that she talked me into setting up because, as Fla put it when I said I wasn't interested, "Fine.  Don't help the world do what you did."  And finally, for Christmas she got me a three-month subscription to match.com so I can start dating again.  Of course, to make sure I used it, on our last day together before she moves to New York, today she set up my match.com profile for me so I wouldn't have any excuses.  My Fla!  My trainer, nutritionist, tormentor, and matchmaker to the very end!

In any case, for our last week together, we had planned to train several times and I was going to take her to lunch at one of my favorite Chinese restaurants on Tuesday.  My week was set.  It was going to be a Fla-filled week before we said goodbye.

Then Vilma luck struck (as it often does to ruin things for me) with a vengeance and everything went to hell.  I almost didn't even get to see her at all before she left! 

I'll explain in more detail in a later post what happened, but here is the gist of it:  On Sunday night a stomach ache turned into severe abdominal pain and for four days I went from having a lot of pain to being in agony.  I landed in Urgent Care, then the ER, and eventually met with my gastroenterologist who's familiar with my stomach issues.  He even made a special appointment with me on his day off when he learned what happened.  Needless to say, lunch plans with Fla were out of the question, never mind training.  I could barely move.  I didn't know until this morning whether I'd be well enough to meet with Fla at all.  She was really cute, she texted me yesterday, "There's no way I'm not seeing you before I leave!"  I felt the same way.

Luckily, medication my doctor prescribed is allowing me to be semi-functional while I wait for scheduled tests next week to find out what's going on with my stomach.  But all that mattered to me on Friday morning was that I felt well enough to meet with "my" Fla once again before she left.  At this point, I hadn't eaten anything in three days and my doctor said I could start with soft foods on Friday, but I held off until after I met with Fla for fear I'd get sick again and would have to cancel with her one last time. 

So we finally met this afternoon in downtown Los Angeles for tea.  With all that's been going on this week, Fla forgot her iPad which she threatened to bring so she could set up my match.com profile.  I was elated.  But my excitement was short lived when she said, "That's okay.  I'll use my iPhone."  Good grief. 

Last week I set up a match.com password in anticipation of Fla wanting to do my profile, but I hadn't touched the account otherwise.  When we signed on today (or rather when Fla signed on today), I already had 30 matches even though I hadn't set up any profile at all.  Fla was excited to see what man was matched to me, and imagine our surprise when the matches were all women.  Apparently when I set up my password, I inadvertently told match.com that I was a "man seeking a woman."  Goes to show you how interested I was in having a match.com account!  Then we couldn't figure out how to change that setting and I told Fla, "Well, maybe match.com knows something I don't!"  While she was trying to figure out how to change that setting using her own phone, I was checking out the photos of my female "matches" on my phone and making comments like, "Oh, she's cute!" or "Wow, she looks great for her age!  I wonder when this photo was taken though."  If one of my female matches posted a photo with pets, I told Fla, "This is my match!"

I have to say, Fla was persistent because she didn't give up until she figured it out.  I kept telling her, "You're ruining our last day together with this nonsense!  Let it go!" but she wouldn't.  Eventually, she fixed it to "I'm a woman seeking a man" and proceeded to answer questions provided to set up my profile.  When she asked me what to include for the section "Body Type," I told her to put "Deflated and wrinkled."  She wouldn't.  When she asked me what to put under "Tell us about yourself," I told her to put, "I'm an old woman with medical issues, a boring life, and a crappy old house."  She refused.  Then she stopped asking for my input altogether and completed my profile without me.  I still haven't read what she wrote. 
    

In any case, I got to see my Fla before she left and we spent a couple of hours together.   When we parted, I cried all the way home.  I haven't cried when saying goodbye to another human being in forever.  Then she sent me a lovely text later in the evening telling me what I've meant to her and it made me cry some more.

I hope we keep in touch in the future, but you know how life goes.  People go their own way and many times we lose touch with each other.

So to Fla, my lunatic blue-haired tormentor, I say this:

You will never know what you've done for me.  You've literally changed my life in ways I never thought possible, way beyond the lower numbers on a scale.  I can honestly say that you've been the best thing that's happened to me in decades.  The most I can do is say, "Thank you," but that doesn't seem to be enough to show how appreciative I really am.  I know you'll be amazing in New York and I wish you all the best in life.  For everything you've done for me, THANK YOU!   

P.S.  I'm really annoyed you got me on match.com!


Here's the last photo we took together tonight: