The #1 question people ask me

Whenever I encountered someone who had lost a ton of weight, my first question was always the same, "How did you do it?"  If I had bet this would be the first question posed to me as well, I would have lost the bet.  It's usually the second question I'm asked.

What's the first question I'm asked time and time again by just about everybody?  

                            "How do you feel? "  

I find it to be quite a surprising question because when I met someone who lost a lot of weight, I just took it for granted that they felt great.  How could they not?  If not great, then at least much better.  The answer I've given to this question has been one (or all) of these words:  amazing, terrific, unbelievable, wonderful, fabulous, great.  I often add, "I feel 20 years younger!" 

Another question I'm often asked is, "Do you have more energy?"  The answer is, "Absolutely!"  At my heaviest, I was lethargic and was always tired regardless of how much sleep I had gotten.  Obesity causes depression which, in turn, worsens the obesity.  Each of these two depletes your energy in their own right, but both together act to zap every ounce of energy a person has.  I had been living in obesity so long that I had completely forgotten what it felt like to have any energy at all.  I noticed almost immediately when I started to lose weight that my energy improved a little bit.  As time went on and I continued to see the numbers on the scale drop, I regained more and more energy.  It was a gradual process but it was definitely noticeable.

One of the most annoying questions I'm often asked is, "You had the surgery, didn't you!"  It's not so much a question as a declaration that the speaker knows I could only have lost so much weight after having gastric bypass surgery.    

Most people didn't really notice I had lost weight until I had lost about 70 lbs. at which point I often heard, "Have you lost some weight?"  Once I lost 95 lbs., however, everybody seemed to notice and acted as though I had done it overnight.  The first time I was asked this annoying question was after losing about 100 lbs.  At the time I attended a luncheon with other retirees from my office, many of whom I hadn't seen in a few years.  This luncheon takes place once a year and I always balked at going before.  When my buddy found out I was planning to attend this year, he said, "I'm shocked!  Whenever I ask you if you're going, you always say, 'HELL, NO!'  So why are you going to this one?"  My answer was simple:  "Because I've lost a ton of weight and I have a cute haircut so you better believe I'm going this time!" 

When I entered the room the restaurant set up just for us, the reactions I got from my peers were amazing - everything from people not recognizing me to utter shock and amazement.  In fact, before I could even cross the threshold, I was surrounded by a few people who were telling me how great I looked.  Some sounded surprised that they were saying such a thing to me, too.  I don't blame them though because most have only known me as obese.  Needless to say, I was beaming.  A much, much better reaction than the prior year which I described in, "Can't you SEE I've lost weight???!!!!"

Several people asked me questions, including wanting to know how I lost the weight.  Before I could even utter a word in response, someone cut me off and yelled out, "You had the surgery, didn't you!"  My initial reaction was confusion.  Surgery?  What surgery?  I thought she was referring to my knee surgery, but that happened years before.  Besides, what would knee surgery have to do with losing a lot of weight?  Then it dawned on me, she was referring to gastric bypass surgery.  Her question both annoyed and embarrassed me.  Not only did I think it was incredibly rude to yell it out like that in front of everybody, I thought it was rude to assume I took the easy way out. 

Most people consider gastric bypass surgery to be an "easy out."  I realize that this surgery saves lives and that the surgery itself, not to mention the recuperation, is far from being easy, but I feel the same way.   The whole process of losing weight after the surgery happens because your body becomes violently ill if you eat too much or eat something you're not supposed to have.  It's called "dumping syndrome."  Your body's reaction forces you to lose weight.  You have no choice, at least initially.  In my case, I had to struggle for every pound I lost on my own because I had to learn to deal with my binging disorder, doubts, plateaus, setbacks, and the universe trying to thwart me.  I lost weight despite injuries, ailments, and periods of emotional instability.  Most importantly, I had to analyze my behavior when it came to food and change everything before I could succeed.

My response to her was, "NOOO!!!!  It was through a lot of hard work and it's taken over two years to get here.  It didn't happen overnight."  A few minutes after my indignation at her question though I realized that her assumption was reasonable.  She hadn't seen me in a couple of years and had no idea what my journey had entailed or how long it had taken.  From her perspective, I lost a ton of weight since she last saw me so it must have happened quickly to her.  It certainly wasn't fast for me, I'll tell you that! 

Since that luncheon, I've heard that question/ declaration several times.  I no longer feel offended though.  I do find it sad, however, that it doesn't seem to occur to most people that you CAN lose a lot of weight through the old-fashioned way:  determination and a lot of hard work which involves changing your lifestyle, not an easy task to say the least. 

A friend who lives in DC emailed me a couple of weeks ago saying that I was her inspiration and that she joined Weight Watchers to get started.  She told me that many women in her circle chose to have gastric bypass surgery to lose the weight and although she never considered going that route, she said that I proved to her it can be done without going under the knife. 

Nothing makes me happier than to hear my efforts are helping to motivate others get control of their lives, too.  Like I've said many times throughout this blog, each person needs to find their own commitment to succeed on their particular journey.  Without that commitment, failure is around the corner.  The reason is that it's not an easy journey.  It's often frustrating, it's difficult to change your lifestyle, there is a lot of trial and error to figure out what will work for you, and it takes time, lots of time.  The only way to succeed is to have the commitment to keep trying and never give up regardless of what life throws at you. 

However, it can be done.  I'm living proof of that!